Part of the personal growth process is learning how to manage conflict. This skill is truly needed as we’ll all face conflict in our lives. I’ve dealt with conflict in my family, at my jobs, on sports teams I’ve played on and sadly in the church. I must admit that I did not always deal with it correctly.

Through these conflicts I’ve learned 4 key lessons I want to share with you:

1. Pretending the problem doesn’t exist is never a good idea. Most problems, especially the major ones, don’t just appear out of nowhere. Often we will have a sense that something is brewing under the surface but we choose to ignore it. All this does is turn what started out as a small ripple into a tsunami that affects many people. We must deal with conflict early.

2. Healthy communication is the key. You’ll notice I said healthy communication is the key, not just communication. You can get people together and have them communicate but if there aren’t some guidelines on what that communication will look like it will be counter productive. Healthy communication allows everyone involved the chance to listen and speak.

3. You have to be able to see the other person’s point of view. This is extremely important to have the healthy communication I mentioned above. Putting ourselves in the other persons shoes can be difficult, especially when we feel we’re right. It doesn’t mean you necessarily have to agree with them but you need to see the issue at hand through their eyes to understand what is motivating them. It will give you a different perspective.

4. You have to truly care about the other people involved. I saved this for last because to me this is the key ingredient for conflict resolution. If your heart is not in the right place, and if your motives are wrong, the conflict will never truly be resolved. When there is genuine care for the well being of everyone involved then the communication is better, you’re able to see the other persons point of view and you want to resolve the conflict as early as possible.

Dealing with conflict is tough but it’s something we must all learn to manage. Think back on these 4 lessons I’ve learned the next time you’re faced with managing conflict and grow through the process.

Evolution of Self!