Weekend Word!

Happy weekend everyone!
Hopefully you’re all able to enjoy the time whether it’s a 2 or 3 day weekend for you.

In this post I’ll share some more from the book, Crucial Conversations.
This excerpt focuses on how to redirect things when a conversation turns south.

Refocus Your Brain
As you begin, a discussion, start by examining your motives.
Going in, ask yourself what you really want.
Our motives usually change without any conscious thought on our part.
When adrenaline does our thinking for us, our motives flow with the chemical tide.
In order to move back to motives that allow for dialogue, you must step away from the interaction and look at yourself – much like an outsider.

Stop and ask yourself some questions that return you to dialogue.
You can ask these questions either when you find yourself slipping out of dialogue, or as reminders when you prepare to step up to a crucial conversation.
Here are some great ones:
What do I really want for myself?
What do I really want for others?
What do I really want for the relationship?
Once you ask yourself, what you want, add one more equally telling question:
How would I behave if I really wanted these results?

Find Your Bearings
The answer to what we really want helps us to locate our North Star.
Despite the fact that we’re being tempted to take the wrong path by (1) people who are trying to pick a fight, (2) thousands of years of genetic hard wiring that brings our emotions to a quick boil, and (3) our deeply ingrained habit of trying to win, our North Star returns us to our original purpose.

Take Charge Of Your Body
When we ask ourselves what we really want, we affect our entire physiology.
When we present our brain with a demanding question, our body sends precious blood to the parts of our brain that help us think and away from the part of our body that help us take flight or begin a fight.

Asking questions about what we really want serves two important purposes.
First, it reminds us of our goal.
Second, it juices up our brain in a way that helps us keep focused.

~Evolution of Self
#weekendword #crucialconversations #whatisyourgoal #stayfocused