Weekend Word!

Today we dive back into the book Crucial Conversations, Tools For Talking When Stakes Are High.

Every time we find ourselves arguing, debating, running away, or otherwise acting in an ineffective way, it’s because we don’t know how to share meaning.
Instead of engaging in healthy dialogue, we play silly and costly games.

Sometimes we move to silence.
At work we don’t confront people in positions of authority.
At home we give loved ones the cold shoulder in order to get them to treat us better.
Sometimes we rely on hints, sarcasm, caustic humor, innuendo, and looks of disgust to make our points.
Afraid to confront an individual, we blame an entire team for a problem – hoping the message will hit the right target.

On other occasions, not knowing how to stay in dialogue, we try to force meaning into the pool.
We act like we know everything, hoping people will believe our arguments.
We discredit others, hoping that people won’t believe their arguments.
When stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong, we’re often at our worst.

In order to move to our best, we have to find a way to explain what is in each of our personal pools of meaning – especially our high-stakes, sensitive, and controversial opinions, feelings, and ideas – and to get others to share their pools.
We have to develop the tools that make it safe for us to discuss these issues and to come to a shared pool of meaning.
And when we do, our lives change.

~Evolution of Self!
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