Anger is an emotion we all have felt, currently feel or will feel in our lives. It is an emotion that when left unchecked can cause tremendous pain and destruction in our families, our workplace and other areas of our lives. Anger can show itself in many different forms from the verbal to the physical and all things in between. Even worse is those times when we bottle up anger and frustration until it hits the point of no return. Then we explode on whoever is in the vicinity, and unfortunately many times it is those we love the most. James 1:19-20 (NLT) says, “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”
I have never had what you would term “anger issues”. I however, like many of you reading this, have flown off the handle a few times. For me it’s usually a combination of little things that fester until I can’t take it anymore. Then something happens that’s not even a big deal but it doesn’t matter and boom, I go off. I know some of you reading this are in shock thinking “How can happy all the time Chuck go off, I can’t imagine”. Well it does happen and I’m definitely not proud of it. Thankfully I can say those times are few and far between but still it doesn’t make me feel good when I lose my temper.
For me what’s even worse is not those times when I go off, but those times when I let anger and frustration cause me to not view things in their proper perspective. My basketball practice with my youth team last night is a perfect example. It was one of those days when the 5-6 year old kids on my team were being 5-6 year old kids. They were running around and not listening, falling all over the floor, spinning themselves around until dizzy, you name it they were doing it! I even stopped practice a few times to get their attention and that worked temporarily. But a few minutes later they were back at it and I was getting more and more frustrated and upset. So as practice ended I gathered them up and talked to them about how important it is to listen to your coaches, show respect, etc. They nodded their heads, we did our little chant and practice was over. And it should have ended there.
But on the drive home I still had one of my team members in the car with me, my youngest son, CA. So I had to continue on about how disappointed and upset I was at the way the team was acting today. I told him I was disappointed in how he acted, especially being the coaches son, and I know he was taught better than that, etc. etc. Then he starts crying because he feels bad because he let me down and I’m upset with him. So now I feel like a big pile of doggie poo! At that point I realized at the end of the day, he was just being a 5 yr old and no real crime was committed. Yes he was not on his best behavior but I had already spoken to the team about it and I didn’t need to keep it going with him. But I was still upset and I let that emotion dictate what came out of my mouth. As it says in Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NLT), “Control your temper for anger labels you a fool.” And that’s what I felt like!
While this wasn’t an example of extreme anger and its consequences, it does show that anger doesn’t have to be extreme to have negative results. I’ve found throughout my life that acting out of anger and frustration rarely, if ever, results in anything positive. When we act out of anger and frustration, we are right were the enemy wants us because he knows the end result. Ephesians 4:27 (NLT) says, “For anger gives a foothold to the devil.”
So how do we control our anger and frustration in those times when it’s about to rear it’s ugly head? And trust me, each of us will come upon those times throughout our lives.
One thing we can do, and it’s becoming a constant theme throughout my blogs, is go to our internal “Fruit Store”. These are times when we need the Spirit to feed us to keep us from acting out of anger. We need bites of love, patience and self-control, for example, when those situations arise.
Another thing we need to do is step away from the situation, if at all possible, before we react. Psalms 4:4 (NLT) says, “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.” When we have time to cool down before reacting we start to see the issue in a different light. When we are acting out of an emotion other than anger, the problem or issue doesn’t seem so big. We realize our anger caused us to “make a mountain out of a mole hill”, as the saying goes.
Remember we are called to love, especially those we come in contact with every day like our families. We cannot love if we are acting out of anger and frustration. We cannot be who God has called us to be if we are letting the enemy control our emotions and actions. So take a deep breath, step back, and see the problem or issue for what it truly is. Not what the emotion of anger has caused you to see it as.
Truth in Love! ~ Chuck