2 Timothy 2:24 (NLT) says, “A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.”

Difficult people, we’ve either dealt with them in the past, are dealing with them now, or will deal with them in the future. At times we are that difficult person who others have to deal with. We all have our opinions, our way of doing things and our view of the world. Remember my blog about the different sets of lenses we each view the world through. Our life experiences are different as well as the way we approach and view things in life.

Because of these differences there will be times when we disagree, don’t see eye to eye on a subject, etc. Difficult people will express these differences to us in a negative way, sometimes even in a cruel and demeaning way. Dealing with difficult people is unfortunately a fact of life and we will face them. I have dealt with some really difficult people throughout my life and through each time I’ve been challenged and grown from it. One situation I will never forget tested me more than any other and stretched me and my trust in God in ways I couldn’t imagine.

I worked for a person who I would call not the model you would want for how to treat people with respect and kindness. I watched and listened to this individual talk badly about people behind their backs, use their work for his personal gain, lie to management and clients and downright be a person of low character. I would dread going to work each day because of what I had to deal with once I arrived, the negative attitude and horrible work environment. I was trying to be the buffer between him and the other workers but nothing was working.

Before long I was truly becoming affected by his actions. I was losing sleep, becoming irritable at home, getting caught up in office politics and losing my peace at work too many times to count. I would try to be the voice of reason within the office but again with this individual nothing seemed to work. I always prided myself on being able to bring people together and work with anyone, but this situation I couldn’t conquer. I seriously started to doubt myself and my abilities. It was a bad time for me.

I would talk to Jen constantly about the situation and lean on her for advice and support. But she could only do so much and it was causing a strain on our relationship. This was one of the toughest situations of dealing with a difficult person I had ever faced. There were times when I actually wanted to physically harm this person. That is how far outside of myself I had let this person’s actions take me. I was not walking the way God wanted me to walk. I had let the enemy use this difficult person and this situation to move me away from God’s path for my life.

God was who I had to turn to in this situation more than ever. I needed Him to provide the strength, courage and guidance I so desperately needed to conquer this situation. I prayed, and read His word more and really dived into scripture and devotionals. I read about the Fruits of the Spirit I needed to have and I can tell you at that time I wasn’t eating from my internal Fruit Store. I needed those fruits to show me the way to make this situation better. The answers were definitely right there for me, I just had to apply them.

First, I had to remember who I was in God. 1 John 4:7 (NLT) says, “Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.” I am a child of God and because of that I am called to love all. I had to remember that this individual too, as difficult as they could be, was also a child of God. So I had to find a way to stay who I was and show love to him.

Second, I had to set boundaries and understand I could love him as Christ calls me to but at a distance. Corinthians 15:33 (NLT) says, “Don’t be fooled by those who say such things for “bad company corrupts good character.”” In order for me to stay who God has called me to be I had to keep this individual’s negativity out of my spirit. Instead of listening to this on a daily basis I set my boundaries and let him know what I was and was not going to deal with. That boldness to stand my ground for what I believe in without losing my peace made all the difference in the world.

Taking those two steps went a long way to helping me find peace in this storm. I found a way to deal with this difficult person without becoming a difficult person myself. I was able to grow closer to God through this as he showed me the way to conquer the enemy’s attempt to break me. I gained extreme confidence in who I was in Christ by going through this experience.

So if you are dealing with a difficult person in your life right now and it’s causing you to lose your peace and love it’s time to step back. Don’t deal with it on your own and with your own understanding because that will ultimately fail. Turn to God and His word to see how this difficult person and difficult situation can grow you into being more of who God wants you to be. Who knows, in the process you may help turn this difficult person into more of who God calls them to be.

Truth in Love! ~ Chuck